muses of the cranskies

Macam Biskot...

2005-12-09T19:53:00.000+11:00

Sekejap ada, sekejap takde :)

Some things are just meant for myself and not for your eyes.

Goodbye.

Remember...

2005-12-08T23:39:00.000+11:00

Maybe all of you need to be reminded...

Bear in mind, what happens in a split second, may take a lifetime to amend and we all know the truth hurts.

Don't make me refresh all of your memories, all those memories that you have forgotten, all those sacrifices that were made, all those times this person was there for all of you, all those times when all of you are in difficulties and this person was there.

Don't make me ask all of you, where you came from, how you are here and when being asked who this person is, don't try, don't dare and don't you even think of calling her your own. None of you deserve her. She has made mistakes, so do you. Yet when she can forgive, why can't you? Yet when she still feeds you, why can't you?

I shall watch from far and shut my trap, I believe, prayers are indeed the most magical remedy. By now all of you should know I have a temper that is not too nice, I have anger that's bursting in me. I have a foul mouth that is waiting fire so all of you remember, should anything happens, all of you will be the first to hear me rise.

History do repeat, so you mark my words and what comes around goes around.

All of you will hear from me.

Watch out.

I repeat...

Watch out...you, you, you and all of you.

To you my old baby,

You've been there through my ups and my downs. You hold a special place in my heart and always will. There's never a day that I've been away and you're forgotten. You are in my prayers, everyday, without fail. You worry me sick now, your plight saddens me, I tear at every of their actions and my only solace for now is when I see your photos with your smile that melts my heart.

Your words, your talks, your laughter, plays all day long in my ear. Your tricks and your dramas - I know it was all just a form of attention because you're left so lonely and all you want is some love. Far and away, I can't shower you with all that I used to but do know I shower you with my prayers every single day. You hold a place in my heart and my mind, with each of our memories together...I hope you're thinking of me as much as I am thinking of you. Whenever I miss you, I look up and thank Him for we are still under the sky. You can do the same too.

Just hold on, for my sake, that's all I am asking for. It's a small ask, and you've never turned me down because you always say I am your favourite.

I am your big baby, all grown up.
Living away with tasks to run.
Think healthy, be happy.
I'll run to you as soon as I can.

Hold on. I know you will, so please don't disappoint me because for every confidence you used to give me, I have double confidence of that will power in you.

I am too confuse and too tired. Let me close my eyes now and dream of you.

I love you old baby, in fact too much. :)

gone...

2005-11-28T12:37:00.000+11:00

hiatus...we'll be back :)

Trivia

2005-11-20T22:27:00.000+11:00

We are finally back, after a very very "busy and hectic" life, with work and school and of course Hari Raya! We did our fair share of visiting and going out, the month diet has been...I shall not comment further.

Anyway, here's Cranskies Trivia Number 1....

Who's that and what do you think is happening?

It's still not too late to say, Salam Aidilfitri. Maaf zahir & batin =)

Hello World

2005-10-27T12:33:00.000+10:00

We have been up to nothing, thus no updates from the la-la land. Montel is busy mugging away with exams, while I am slogging at work with the ever piling stuffs on my desk and also other areas of concern. Sigh. This is life....I guess work will never be a beauty if you don't instill it in your brains that, indeed work is a beauty!

With Ramadhan going soon and Raya coming up, it's always a mixed feelings each year. Very different, very sayu and at times sebak. This year, alot has happened, I am here with Montel to celebrate Raya. We don't know what it'll be like but we'll cope.

Till more updates, lest if we decide to go on hiatus.

Toodles.

Food Galore

2005-10-22T20:24:00.000+10:00

I've been cooking quite regularly these days, making sure our Ramadhan is as good as at home ((: At times when I am too buggered to cook, we'll settle ourselves for sandwiches - courtesy of H. It's been great working at H, lots of free food but lots of shit people. We don't really care.

Ok on the roll........To date, I've cooked:

Roti Kirai - it's green because I forgot to buy the yellow coloring. Tastes bagus for a first timer.

Salad, without the egg - montel took the whole egg. tsk tsk.

Murtabak cream crackers - abit serabut and tak terduduk, because I cut down on the eggs quantity heaps. Healthier and so long as it tastes as it should be. It was yumm.

Bubur Asyurah ((:

Presenting, Montel's ever first try in the kitchen. Shhh..don't tell her it was a disaster. Niat di hati nak buat ondeh-ondeh, very the bersungguh yang dia tau buat. "I did it in Home Econs class before". Okay, that was yonks ago la eh, tapi takpe, kakaknya kasi chance - jadinya chan mali chan.

Looks of it - okay, got ondeh-ondeh look. Color - abit dull. Taste - dah macam kuih koswee, keras and cuber eh, kakaknya beli gula melaka dekat kedai cina tu, stock up berpacket-packet tau! Please eh, sentel lebih sikit tu gula melaka, jangan macam orang Jowo cakap, satotek lek.

Verdict: Kakaknya rasa, cuber sampai berjaya, jangan putus asa. Buat sampai dia melt in your mouth, not in your hands wokay?!

Dengar-dengar tadi berangan-angan lagi nak buat, apa dah jadi? Montel dah ngap sepinggan nasi setinggi Bukit Timah, togok teh tarek celop biskot cream crackers - apa lagi, jadi ular leh!

Okay stay tuned to hear our records of triumphs (of course by me!) and disasters (u know by who!) in the kitchen.

Ramblings of a Mugger

2005-10-22T14:09:00.000+10:00

As I am writing this short prose, I was awhile go mugging. Argh. I wish exams didnt exist. I have never believed in it. I am starting to feel scared and nervous that I will not perform to expectations. It's hard when people pinned high hopes on you and expect you to do well everytime. It's even harder when sometimes I enter into the examination hall, armed with knowledge and prayers and after that, lamenting and feeling lost and worried that I didnt perform well. What makes it worse is the worries dont disappear and I feel angry with myself when I make mistakes in the examination. Y? Because of my compulsive disorder. Maybe I should start adopting the Ozzie culture, "No worries Mate!". Bah.

I was reading my sister's blog and tears welled up in my eyes when i read her entry about granny. I miss my granny. I wish there are times when i have my own private jet plane and fly home anytime I want. I miss hearing granny's voice, her bells, the way she ask me whether I have eaten, her antics. I miss her badly and if there's one person I would want to see now, its her. Granny. Nenek, I may not express how much I love you and I might not say I love you but I do. Loads. I wish I could take away that loneliness and I wish there's something I could do about that visiting part. But I am just a child and not everything is within my control. I cant wait to see you when I get home.

Ok, I better get back to mugging. Oh and I have pictures of Food to post. Ketua has diligently kept the dapur berasap during this fasting month. But that has to wait till exams are over. ..Wish me luck! =)

Spring to Summer

2005-10-21T20:11:00.000+10:00

Goodbye Winter, Hello Spring...and let's spring to Summer!

I like the idea of having cold weather, no sweat, no masam clothes and these om putehs don't stink. But having the cold weather means, it gets dark early there are no activities and piling up for clothes. Feels like a puffed up doll! I like Spring, beautiful flowers springing, nice rain that makes the weather just nice BUT, it also means hayfever for me. My nose have been very sensitive since small. No dust, no this or that - my nose will itch, sore throat and then non stop sneeze. Urgh.

Every morning when I walk to the office, there's this long beautiful path that I have to take to get there. Along the path, lines up pretty flowers of many kind - on most days when I am daydreaming (okay maybe 4 days out of 5?! hah) I felt I am like Alice in Wonderland. The weirdest part is, when I walk, I'll have my nose covered because the pollens are too strong and my nose will start to itch.

The pic above is one of my photo shoot collection for the day ((:

Energizer

2005-10-20T03:55:00.000+10:00

It's 5 minutes to 4 am now and I am here writing. Today, I finally managed to wake up for sahur. The past two days have been mentally and physically draining....most of my energy are sucked out by the travelling and work. Probably that is why, I have not heard the clock ringing.

I have not been able to eat as much as I usually would do during sahur and disturb everyone else on the table. These days it's just a quickie affair. Boil the water, spread the bread or heat up whatever leftovers there is in the micro...eat, drink, bang go back to sleep, even if it is just 15 minutes to prayers. I don't mind, I'll drag myself up again, sleep is important.

Montel could gobble down 3 pieces of bread with thick nutella spreading and yet she's complaining, "I have not even had any weight loss!" Oh? Hello?!

Digressing

2005-10-19T04:04:00.000+10:00

This is a post of nothing out of something. So, just let me rant on okay?

There are reasons why we have friends. Friends of various categories, you call it, there is one of each, one of a kind.

Today, I read this on a magazine "Friends are the family that you could choose"

Very true, I felt. There are some kind of friends whom you felt you could depend on them anytime, anywhere and they would just drop everything to help you out. As days goes by, there is a certain kind of bond that you built, secrets that you share and things that you enjoy doing together. You look forward to meeting them and not have any hinders or controls over who you want to meet and go out with. Well, I hate that, really to the core.

Anyway, I was trying to write to a point about something in this post...but let's just forget it. I think it's just best of me to tell it to my friends directly how thankful I am to them and yada yada. I forgot, sometimes whatever I wrote, it's being read and being commented on. Why don't you just get it? GUA PUNYA SUKA, boleh? Some things are just meant to be let go off. Some things are meant to change over time. Just like any human being, including myself, I need a breather, space to breath.

So could you please kindly just stop controlling things? Some things don't and can't go your way all the time.

Oh, I love the sitcom, Friends.

Disasters

2005-10-11T15:55:00.000+10:00

More people were killed in the recent quake, what a scary disaster. Makes me wonder if I'll wake up with a roof above my head tomorrow. God knows.

With all the recent events happening, terrorism and what not, precautions have been taken up. Every where, every morning, it has been massive bad traffic. A truck was found with a bomb inside it at a suburb garden in the outskirts of the city. Road closure on St. Kilda Road on Saturday because of a suspected bomb scare.

Yesterday?
St. Vincent's hospital had to evacuate all their patients out of the building and the hospital was closed for a couple of hours.

Reason?
A black bag was found unattended and seemingly suspicious. After few hours of investigation, with high tech bomb detector robots and etc, a discharged patient came back to the hospital and told the police, it was his bag. He forgot to bring it with him.

Now you tell me.

Chop-Chop!!!

2005-10-06T22:26:00.000+10:00

I should perhaps, reconsider franchising H and instead open up "Deen Biasa" aka mamak Beach Road.

I whipped up Mutton Chop for buka today. Amaciaaaam?

Sememangnya, si montel...being the montel yang sejak-sejak bulan puasa ni hanya tahu makan dan tido, gave me, not two but FOUR thumbs up for it. Haiya, tinggal makan aje...apa ke tidak?!

Graffiti

2005-10-04T22:17:00.000+10:00

In the streets of Geelong, I found the beauty of graffiti. It's nice, isn't it?

It's time...

2005-10-04T22:11:00.000+10:00

It's the best time of the year again. Alhamdulilah, we lived through the past year, with much ease and stayed healthy. We stumbled upon a few disappoinments and sadness in our lives but bounce back and picked up the pieces. Every Ramadhan, it feels different, especially being away.

May this Ramadhan be a blessed one to all of you, Insya'Allah. Ramadhan Mubarak =)

Now you see it, Now you don't!

2005-10-02T10:51:00.000+10:00

Oh-oh we just realized some of our postings and pictures are gone! Is it the network or the computer or even blogger playing pranks on us?

Maybe...Montel, did you do anything to the blog?

guapunyasuka.com

2005-09-30T03:10:00.000+10:00

Somethings are better left unsaid & unknown because at the end of the day, it's all about me. Nothing about anyone else. Stop trying to make comments, judging and controlling others because it's just about time to stop. You'll never know what suffocation could lead to. The more you think you want to be in control of it and want to try to get involved, the wider the barrier will be. Sometimes accepting and understanding things are easier than trying to so hard to be in control.

I'll write soon again, but it will just be random minor daily rumblings. Being on guard is always the best weapon to any mass destructive "device". Muahahahha.

I was reading the papers this morning and there were heaps of pictures of the unfortunate event in the islands of Indonesia. It's horrifying and very disturbing.

Key to Life

2005-08-16T00:00:00.000+10:00

Happy 21st Sistah!

Reflections of a 20 year old

2005-08-15T21:59:00.000+10:00

In about 2 hours time, I will enter another phase in my life. I am turning 21 when the clock strikes 12 on 16 August. As much as everyone looks forward to turning 21 in their life, with parties, parties and more parties, it is very much any other day to me. Partly because I am away in Ozzie La La Land and it is different being home and away.

I have no idea how I will spend my day tomorrow besides being at work. As pathetic as it may sound, I might be spending the day at work and then in front of the tv and my lappie trying to finish up my assignments and readings.

Time seems to fly past fast though it seems like only yesterday that I turn 16. I pretty much can remember vividly what happened in the 20 years of my life.

I still remember my kindergarten days at Al-Mutaqin. I dawn the green baju kurung and the tudong. I cant really recall the names of my kindergarten friends though I think I can recognise them when I see their faces.

I still remember my primary school days and I still remember the friends.

Special friendships formed in secondary school until now and to recap every single event during my secondary school days will bore some to death.

I enjoyed my JC days the most. It was tough but I learn lessons that carry me through the rest of my lives.

Of course I remember my MUFY days. Home and away for the first time. It might be just across the border, but it was still away from home. A wonderful experience that I wouldnt trade for anything. I love the friendships that has formed and I love the times that I was there. Who can forget those times when we had a sudden cut of water supply and electricity happening almost every 3 months once?

And now... I am thankful to Mum and Dad for funding me to do my degree in Ozzie. I promise to do my best and make both of u proud.

A most significant part in my life is experiencing the death of a loved one everytime I will be sitting for an important exam.

I lost my grandfather the year I was sitting for my PSLE.

I lost my grandmother the year I was sitting for my streaming exams.

I lost an uncle the year I was sitting for my O levels.

I lost 2 uncles the year I was sitting for my A levels.

And I just lose an Aunt. The first time someone close to me passed on and I was not there.

Oh well...Happy Birthday to the Big Me. An official adult. The legal age for everything (*think RA movies* =p)

A Walk to Remember

2005-07-17T16:23:00.000+10:00

I walked in the park earlier today after the photo shoot and enjoyed the cold. My heart sank when I saw old couples walking down and I suddenly cried when I saw an old man walking with his grandchild. The same old man, smiled at me from a far. His smile was similar, his glasses were the same. He had the same cowboy hat, the same smoking pipe. It's all too familiar to me, it brought me back memories that are left for me to grow old with.

I remembered how I last saw him when I came over to pass him his favourite sambal goreng dish - he was at the kitchen's window looking out. I said my salam and he came over. He smiled, he kissed and hugged me tight. It was different, I knew it, I felt it but I didn't know what it was. I kept hearing how he reminded me "jangan nakal-nakal and jaga nenek baik-baik".

I miss serving his coffee and toast for tea after his afternoon nap.I miss him, I miss his presence that would make peace to everything, everyone.

It marks the 7th day, she was gone and each day without fail, she comes to my mind. I kept seeing flashes of her picture, everywhere.

I've been thinking a lot about both of them. Is this a sign to something? Something that I should do?

Of Meetings and Goodbyes...

2005-07-11T21:40:00.000+10:00

Living away from home is one of the best things that one could ever experience but there are pros and cons to it. Life time learning experience, people from different walks of life, things that you'd never get to do or experience back home and definitely, missing people at home and knowing them better.

For the past years that I've been away, I felt that I've emotionally grew stronger and also emotionally being able to relate to my parents better. It might be the age, I've grown out of being rebellious but in terms of communicating with them via phone, sms or emails have improved miles. Of course, my mother hasn't really diminshed the act of being over protective to us. Just a little loose would be better, dear mother :)

The best thing about being home is of course, good home cooked food. Not that I crave anything much at home because I practically can cook anything. Yeah, so if YOU can cook, I can cook, even better. The change of environment, the feeling of being able to chill out again, the heat - not that I look forward to that but yeah, home is where the heart is, after all.

The hardest part?

The fear of saying goodbyes, the fear of not seeing any of them anymore - be it the family, relatives, friends or neighbours. The fear of not being able to cope when I get back on shores, the fear of being homesick because it takes a few weeks to get better, to get on with lives. I am weird, I am ok when I board the plane - good meals, drinks and in-flight entertainment but I feel like running away again when I wait for my luggages at the carousel.

One of our fears, came. This time, sudden and I felt somehow lost. We both lost an aunty, who was battling with a disorder, who travelled miles to get treated but the sickness got the better of her. I for one was very close to her during my childhood days, but as my cousins and I grew up and the crap that happened within the family, we lost touch, for a long time. Only till recently, things are ok.

Dear aunt has been battling with the sickness for quite some time. She lost the appetite to eat, she vomits at the smell of anything and lives on cereal and oats. From a pretty looking lady, slim and tall, she was left just with skin and bones. All these times, I only knew how her condition was through the text messages of my worried sick mother. As much as I was trying to tell my mother, my aunt will be ok - it only hit me hard when I saw an MMS that was sent to my phone. Picture of aunt - really really skinny.

So the call that I dread the longest came on Sunday morning, 6am AEST. My sister broke the news to me. My aunt passed on. I woke up and stared in the blank. It's all too sudden, it's not happening! I got a grip of myself, when to the other room to tell Z. I did my prayers and said prayers for my aunt too. I couldn't get back to sleep, I kept seeing flashes of her. I kept hearing again what she teased me at the last wedding. I kept seeing how I finally got to salam and kissed her hands after so many years.

She knew it was coming, she had it all planned. She visited everyone, everywhere - seeking for forgiveness. She even managed to seek forgiveness to my grandmother, God Bless, the almost 90 year old still going strong woman. Subhana'llah.

I have this strange strong feeling that she knows the sickness has been there, I dont know why. I put bits and pieces together, it comes to a picture. Suddenly just in the recent months, things got better between mother and her. Just as when both families are trying to bury the hatchet and get on with things, enjoying the company, she had to go, she had to leave. My aunty suffered alot but we all know that for every unfortunate event, there's a blessing. God loves her more than we all do.

To my cousins and uncle, no matter how hard it seemed to be with your loss, please know that we are always there for you. I may not feel what you feel now, but to lose a mother/wife is heart wrenching.

Be strong and God Bless.

It came to a point where I have gone blank the past two days. Thinking about my options - to go or not to go? Will I have more disappoinments, the fear of losing my loved ones will always be there....and can I live with the guilt all my life? What more, being away now, what if I am the one to die - what's left, how are things going to be, who's taking care of funeral matters?

God works in a wonderful way, only He knows what's best. For now, I shall just seek solace to what is best for me and my loved ones.

Dear Aunt,
I am sorry that I was never there to give you encouragement, let alone a visit but please do know that my prayers and Doas are always with you, Insya'Allah. Rest in peace.

Rising Up

2005-07-11T21:08:00.000+10:00

Life of the cranskies has been like whirlpool. On some days we looked as though we are high on drugs, on some days we looked zombified (if such exists).

Zeemontel is religously doing her "dirty linen-OCDified" duties and Ketua (self-proclaimed lah!) is religoulsy making sure the kitchen is always smokey - dapur berasap, so as to speak. The best thing that happened to the Cranskies for the time that we were away from blogging, zilch. I literally forgot the user name that I have for Blogger and in the meantime, while I was trying hard to remember (yes, it comes with the age too) the username, both Cranskies were literally just happy to laze our lives away in the comfort of our living room - clicking on at other blogs and downloading stuffs. Cheapo and LC (low-class) as we sound, we have to do that, gotta keep up with the rich and famous lifestyle of ours. Ha!

Two of the girls celebrated their birthdays over the weekend, so Ketua being the Ketua dons the apron and the hat to be the chef of the night. As tired as I was after a heart wrenching 5 damn hours shift at Hudsons with Ms. "iamthebestoftheshit" Stefanie, I didn't want to disappoint the girls. Menu for the night, two types of bee hoon noodles - my famous black bee hoon and birthday bee-hoon. No fried wing-dings or fishballs on sticks though.

We received a sad news on Sunday - read the post above to find out more.

As of today, Ketua is taking a good break from work - till when I am not sure but I pray that something good will soon come. It's back to basics - Hudsons, here I come! Bloody hard work but hey, it pays the bills. No worries mate!

Note: Ketua (ke-too-a)= Leader. In Bahasa Malay.

Dirty linen

2005-07-03T13:14:00.000+10:00

Because we don't own a washing machine, one of the cranskie have to do the honour of washing the laundry... Obviously, the honour goes to the younger of the cranskie since the older one has been doing the cooking...heheh.

So i brought this huge IKEA bag (the guni kind), filled it with all the clothes and had to walk all the way down the street where the laundry service is, silently cursing about how much we have to change clothes and wishing for a washing machine and a dryer... it is sucha hassle although it becomes a routine every weekend.

Usually, i will sneak into one of the Apartments just a street after us to do the laundry. But i have to pergi balik 3 times. First is to put the clothes into the washing machine. Then go back and after 30 minutes, walk back to the apartment to transfer the clothes into the dryer and then go back again. After 45 minutes, walk back again to get the clothes out. It was such a hassle that i decide to just go to the laundry service shop and get everything done there without pergi balik and sneaking in. Plus, i get to fold the clothes there and then and bring back nicely folded clothes. I have obsessive compulsive disorder btw. So i will fold and refold until it looks nice.

So... anyone looking for a lipat kain baju fella? Im up for hire! =)

Blow it My Way

2005-07-02T14:48:00.000+10:00

Compact power. Sharp style.
5.0 Megapixel
Chic, metallic body
Movie recording and playback with sound.

Feature Packed

- High quality movie recording and playback with sound allows movie editing, fast forward, reverse and frame by frame replay from the camera's LCD screen.

- 6.5x digital zoom function with continuously changing angle of view.

- Selectable sensitivity from ISO50/100/200/400 - like having different ISO film loaded at once.

- Sound memo capability allows recording of up to 60 seconds of audio to images.

Sophisticated Design

- Slim, compact design is small enough to always be on hand and tough enough to take everywhere.

- Simple user interface and Quick Shot function ensures no missed shots.

- Optional all weather case submersible to 3m.

- Clock display mode allows easy reference of shooting intervals between shots as well as the current time.

How pretty and sleek does that gadget look? What more can i say?... =)

Virgin Bloggers

2005-06-30T22:41:00.000+10:00

our first virgin entry. welcome :)